Families
The definition of a family from most dictionary spans the whole of the entire academia from historical definition to biological definition to financial definition. A few of those definitions include
- An association of people who share common beliefs or activities; - WordNet
- A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children. - American Heritage Dictionary
- A group of persons sharing common ancestry. - American Heritage Dictionary
- The staff or body of assistants, of an official: the office family - Dictionary.com
In the course of the next 7 – 8 weeks I’ll be using the following definition of a family which I believe encompasses all relational attachments that exists on our planet.
“A family is a group of people who may or may not be blood relations but who also share common interests, attitudes and goals.”
So the next time you are about to enter the train: remember the people standing next to you, they are your family… You share the common goal of taking a journey.
The next time you see someone random on the street, also remember they are your family; you share the common interest of surviving on this planet.
At home, at work, in school, all around you are different members of the different families that you belong to…… be nice to them
Why so much fuss about families?
Experience tells me and confirms that families are the building blocks of the society. Every good thing gets distributed via the most efficient distribution chain in existence – “The Family”. It is not surprising then, that your “Family name” is still a relevant identifier of who you are.
Likewise, an efficient way of destroying a society is to fiddle around with family units and with time, the cracks in the building blocks (family) will start making their way to the surface.
The next seven weeks on this page are for people that want a change…… (Echoing the words of our new family oriented Prime Minister Gordon Brown)
v If you want to contribute to the growth and survival of your family units
v If you want to identify what went wrong and where in your family units
v If you want to learn better ways of coping with your family members
This series is for you.
Come as I identify known but easily ignored contributors to family collapse.
Come with an open mind, suggestions, experiences and a heart to change and effect change in your respective families.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you “FAMILY MELTDOWN – THE MIS-ES” ………Every Thursday.
STAY PAGED
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
FATHERHOOD
FATHERHOOD
“My father has many children” can be a painful thing to say if your share of inheritance is under fire.
The role of the father in the society is increasingly terrorised by the extremists that lies in the fathers to be.
Not long ago was the passion evident in fathers to see their sons and daughters grow and excel in their chosen careers and path in life. This also to be noted is a far cry from the days of imposition, where fathers supposedly chart out their children’s life for them. These kids are treated like machines built to receive orders from their physical creator and disobedience can have grave consequences. This power hold even sometimes results in fathers destroying these machines (their children) and a good name has been developed in the English language to define this act…. “Honour Killing”…. When a father kills a child because the child is not obeying or complying to the father’s wishes. (Don’t be fooled by the positive name though… if the father gets caught, he’ll end up in jail…. No doubt about that)
However, a more subtle but predominant act is an “honour killing” of the mind. Where the father still kills the child, though the child is still alive …. We say…dead children walking”.
Nowadays, we’ve been transported from the icy cold Antarctica to the burning hot deserts in terms of parenting and “father care”.
The new era as expected is service oriented, technologically advanced with an increased sense of awareness that tends to lead to productivity. In fact masculine superheroes have been resurrected to cement the cracks in the parenting desert. Fathers for Justice or fathers for money, which ever name they choose to answer to have recently been in our faces on TV. I once thought it as a new programme transmitted from the roof of Westminster until Trevor explains the mystery correspondent as a fighter doing his own part in a division of labour agenda.
With any era, division of labour s always a constant and effective choice in job allocation for so many reasons such as ease of working, enhanced security and it also gives room for expertise to mention a few. It is not surprising then, that the same has been employed in the “father care” firm. The potency of division of labour cannot be underestimated, but will it produce results? ...yes it will produce results… good or bad ones? ....hhhhmmm
How does it work?
Firstly, a potential father hooks up with a potential mother, only for her to get pregnant in most cases by the same man or sometimes by another man. Considering also that an average relationship n the UK lasts only a few years, the child is barely old enough before another man takes the responsibility of being a step dad. In the long run, the child grows with so many fathers or with no fathers at all depending on the effectiveness of how the “jobs” (responsibilities) were allocated by the circumstances.
The zenith of this hierarchy reaches a boiling point when a mystery father, in order to find his look alike (probably not facially but intellectually or entrepreneur wise) gathers up children that are not his, sets them a on a wide range of tasks and eventually picks his favourite, offering him or her a good share of his fortune…. another man’s child.
(Apprentice viewers……you feel me?)
The father’s day as innocent as it is does not know the difficulties being faced by the descendants of the older generations (meaning us) in choosing our fathers. Some of us embrace our circumstances and acknowledge all these fathers, some of us detest what our lives have turned into because there were too many fathers…. Some of us didn’t get a chance to have one let alone many fathers. I stand to tell you…. These are illusions that tend to remind you of the imperfections in life …… but viewed closely, the truth is “we all have many fathers” be it mentors, coaches, guardians, spiritual fathers or even older friends.
So it’s high time you stopped screaming because of how your life has turned out and start swimming in these fatherly loves.
Much more fulfilling is the love that comes from our father, God, our creator.
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY
Sometime soon, I’ll write on the confusion that men of our generation are facing when it comes to identity….It’s not surprising that men are confused so much that they are starting to think about ways of getting pregnant…..obviously that is after getting married to each other.
Why all these? .... I ask….the answer I get is
“We (the men) have to help out…. In every way”
“My father has many children” can be a painful thing to say if your share of inheritance is under fire.
The role of the father in the society is increasingly terrorised by the extremists that lies in the fathers to be.
Not long ago was the passion evident in fathers to see their sons and daughters grow and excel in their chosen careers and path in life. This also to be noted is a far cry from the days of imposition, where fathers supposedly chart out their children’s life for them. These kids are treated like machines built to receive orders from their physical creator and disobedience can have grave consequences. This power hold even sometimes results in fathers destroying these machines (their children) and a good name has been developed in the English language to define this act…. “Honour Killing”…. When a father kills a child because the child is not obeying or complying to the father’s wishes. (Don’t be fooled by the positive name though… if the father gets caught, he’ll end up in jail…. No doubt about that)
However, a more subtle but predominant act is an “honour killing” of the mind. Where the father still kills the child, though the child is still alive …. We say…dead children walking”.
Nowadays, we’ve been transported from the icy cold Antarctica to the burning hot deserts in terms of parenting and “father care”.
The new era as expected is service oriented, technologically advanced with an increased sense of awareness that tends to lead to productivity. In fact masculine superheroes have been resurrected to cement the cracks in the parenting desert. Fathers for Justice or fathers for money, which ever name they choose to answer to have recently been in our faces on TV. I once thought it as a new programme transmitted from the roof of Westminster until Trevor explains the mystery correspondent as a fighter doing his own part in a division of labour agenda.
With any era, division of labour s always a constant and effective choice in job allocation for so many reasons such as ease of working, enhanced security and it also gives room for expertise to mention a few. It is not surprising then, that the same has been employed in the “father care” firm. The potency of division of labour cannot be underestimated, but will it produce results? ...yes it will produce results… good or bad ones? ....hhhhmmm
How does it work?
Firstly, a potential father hooks up with a potential mother, only for her to get pregnant in most cases by the same man or sometimes by another man. Considering also that an average relationship n the UK lasts only a few years, the child is barely old enough before another man takes the responsibility of being a step dad. In the long run, the child grows with so many fathers or with no fathers at all depending on the effectiveness of how the “jobs” (responsibilities) were allocated by the circumstances.
The zenith of this hierarchy reaches a boiling point when a mystery father, in order to find his look alike (probably not facially but intellectually or entrepreneur wise) gathers up children that are not his, sets them a on a wide range of tasks and eventually picks his favourite, offering him or her a good share of his fortune…. another man’s child.
(Apprentice viewers……you feel me?)
The father’s day as innocent as it is does not know the difficulties being faced by the descendants of the older generations (meaning us) in choosing our fathers. Some of us embrace our circumstances and acknowledge all these fathers, some of us detest what our lives have turned into because there were too many fathers…. Some of us didn’t get a chance to have one let alone many fathers. I stand to tell you…. These are illusions that tend to remind you of the imperfections in life …… but viewed closely, the truth is “we all have many fathers” be it mentors, coaches, guardians, spiritual fathers or even older friends.
So it’s high time you stopped screaming because of how your life has turned out and start swimming in these fatherly loves.
Much more fulfilling is the love that comes from our father, God, our creator.
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY
Sometime soon, I’ll write on the confusion that men of our generation are facing when it comes to identity….It’s not surprising that men are confused so much that they are starting to think about ways of getting pregnant…..obviously that is after getting married to each other.
Why all these? .... I ask….the answer I get is
“We (the men) have to help out…. In every way”
Thursday, June 07, 2007
HOSPITALITY CONTD
Be stingy and loose everything.... The generous prosper. (Proverbs 11 vs 24 - 25)
God has not planned for us to just take in; he’s called us to be rivers that flow out to bless others.
This week I continue on the blog on “Hospitality”.
On my last post, I started the story on a family who showed “Hospitality” to some three men that were on a mission to destroy a city called Sodom and Gomorrah.
As I said last week, one of the men stayed behind with Abraham, and the remaining two continued on their journey towards the city to destroy it. Abraham’s nephew Lot lives in this city and he was by the city gate when the men arrived in the evening and like his uncle, without know this men, he invited them into his house, to get cleaned up and even spend the night.
Surprisingly, these men said “NO” but he insisted strongly and the men decided to stay. Lot made a feast and the men (angels) are eating dinner after having had lunch with Abraham.
The reason for the destruction of this city was laid bare when later that night, the men of the city came to Lot’s house and asked him to bring the two men (angels) in his house out so they can have “sex” with them.
Lot (not knowing that the two men in his house were angels) pleaded on their behalf and even decided that he wouldn’t mind giving the men of the city his virgin daughters (daughters that he has spent his entire life bringing up in a godly way) to do to them as they wish.
Lot was taking the chance to destroy the lives of his daughters, wasting the time and energy he had used to bring them up in a godly way and even destroying his own family in the process just to save these two men.
My question to you is “what radical thing are you prepared to do to show hospitality”?
The angels took over the matter, expressed a few powers and by the next day, helped Lot and his family to escape from the city into a safe place. The angels made sure Lot was safe (“because God had mercy on him”) before they destroyed the city.
“AND THE CITY WAS DESTROYED” but “AND LOT ESCAPED”
From last week, the same lessons repeat themselves in this story.
LESSON 1: Hospitality brings about friendliness and close friendship brings about Trust. (Lot was ready to trade his daughters for the two men)
LESSON 2: Being Hospitable increases the speed of your blessings.
LESSON 3: You just don't know when God is passing by…. Treat everyone right
LESSON 4: In a mission of chaos, death and destruction came a message of life, creativity and peace.
The choice is yours.
NEXT WEEK: FATHER'S DAY SPECIAL (STAY PAGED)
God has not planned for us to just take in; he’s called us to be rivers that flow out to bless others.
This week I continue on the blog on “Hospitality”.
On my last post, I started the story on a family who showed “Hospitality” to some three men that were on a mission to destroy a city called Sodom and Gomorrah.
As I said last week, one of the men stayed behind with Abraham, and the remaining two continued on their journey towards the city to destroy it. Abraham’s nephew Lot lives in this city and he was by the city gate when the men arrived in the evening and like his uncle, without know this men, he invited them into his house, to get cleaned up and even spend the night.
Surprisingly, these men said “NO” but he insisted strongly and the men decided to stay. Lot made a feast and the men (angels) are eating dinner after having had lunch with Abraham.
The reason for the destruction of this city was laid bare when later that night, the men of the city came to Lot’s house and asked him to bring the two men (angels) in his house out so they can have “sex” with them.
Lot (not knowing that the two men in his house were angels) pleaded on their behalf and even decided that he wouldn’t mind giving the men of the city his virgin daughters (daughters that he has spent his entire life bringing up in a godly way) to do to them as they wish.
Lot was taking the chance to destroy the lives of his daughters, wasting the time and energy he had used to bring them up in a godly way and even destroying his own family in the process just to save these two men.
My question to you is “what radical thing are you prepared to do to show hospitality”?
The angels took over the matter, expressed a few powers and by the next day, helped Lot and his family to escape from the city into a safe place. The angels made sure Lot was safe (“because God had mercy on him”) before they destroyed the city.
“AND THE CITY WAS DESTROYED” but “AND LOT ESCAPED”
From last week, the same lessons repeat themselves in this story.
LESSON 1: Hospitality brings about friendliness and close friendship brings about Trust. (Lot was ready to trade his daughters for the two men)
LESSON 2: Being Hospitable increases the speed of your blessings.
LESSON 3: You just don't know when God is passing by…. Treat everyone right
LESSON 4: In a mission of chaos, death and destruction came a message of life, creativity and peace.
The choice is yours.
NEXT WEEK: FATHER'S DAY SPECIAL (STAY PAGED)
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